I need to write a funny speech, how?

i need to make a funny speech (for my bar mitzvah, kinda like a sweet sixteen) thanking everyone for coming such a long way, and kinda thank my parents for raising me. i could just write a normal dull dry one, but i want to make a kind of funny exciting one! so does anybody know how i could squeeze in some jokes? and even how to write the speech itself? thx!